Whenever you’re dealing with something you are unfamiliar with, you tend to ask for help from someone who has been there, done that.  Perhaps you’re trying to figure out something on the computer and need some assistance–the neighbor’s teenager is a computer guru and could really help you out.  Or maybe your car is acting up, and you need a mechanic’s advice.  Instead of taking your car to the dealership repair shop, you decide to ask your brother-in-law about it.  If you want to learn something, you learn from those that have been there before, that know the situation and how to fix it. 

The same goes when you are fighting for your father’s rights in court.  There have been many fathers before you in the history of the courts that have fought for custody of their children against their ex-wives–and won.  Knowing that others have done it will definitely give you the confidence you need to pursue your father’s rights in court during the divorce settlement.   

If you’re serious about your rights as a father, and are serious about gaining full custody of your children, it’s important that you learn from the best–the ones that have been in your shoes before, fought, and WON.  There is no better feeling than leaving the courtroom after a divorce settlement has been agreed upon, knowing that you did your best and got exactly what you wanted.  Being a father is not about paying child support or sending an alimony check every month.  It’s about being there for your kids and fighting for them.  Nothing else is more rewarding than winning a father’s rights case–and the thousands of dads before you that paved the road can share with you their winning tricks and techniques when it comes to getting what you want from your divorce case.

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What are the different child custody options that are available to divorcing or separating parents? The types of custody that parents can choose from depend on the state where they live and the specific situation of their child. Generally, there are five types of custody: physical custody, legal custody, sole custody, joint custody, and bird’s nest custody.

Physical Custody

If you have physical custody over your child, you have the right to have your child physically live with you. In some states, joint physical custody of a child is allowed. In that case, you and your ex-spouse have equal amounts of time for custody of your child. Physical custody is a good option since it allows you and your ex-spouse to spend a maximum amount of time with your child. However, this type of custody will work only if you and your ex-spouse live near each other. To prevent conflict from affecting your child, you and the other parent should have a cordial and workable relationship.

Legal Custody

This custody option gives you the right and responsibility to decide about the upbringing of your child. Legal custody means you can decide for your child in terms of healthcare, schooling, and religious upbringing. Most states allow parents to have joint legal custody of their children, so both parents can make decisions involving the child. The only problem with legal custody is that conflicts and misunderstandings may arise when the upbringing principles of parents clash. This conflict can be detrimental to their child.

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Sole Custody

As the term suggests, sole custody gives custodial rights to only one parent while the other parent’s rights is limited only to visiting the child. This arrangement is used when the child may be harmed in one parent’s home. Among all types of child custody, sole custody is the least disruptive to the child. Because of the very limited interaction of one of the parents to the child, this type of custody may lead to conflict between parents.

Joint Custody

This arrangement is used when parents agree to share decision-making rights over their child’s upbringing. Usually, parents agree to coordinate their schedules so that joint custody will work. Sometimes, a court orders the parents to do it. Joint custody of a child may be joint physical custody, joint legal custody, or both.

Children of divorcing parents benefit from joint custody because they are guaranteed of continuous involvement and contact of both parents. This type of custody also lessens the burden of child rearing to each parent. However, it can be a disadvantage because children have to be moved often from one parent’s house to another parent’s house, and this setup can be costly.

Bird’s Nest Custody

In this type of child custody, the child still lives in the family home while the parents take turns moving in and out. Although this arrangement is not disruptive for the child, it can cause problems for parents, particularly in decision-making. This will work only if parents have other places to live during off days.

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When it comes to the Court Room, you will find this to be a pretty place.  Once the divorce proceedings begin, the outcome of your divorce is in the hands of a total stranger – the Judge.  You no longer have control. All decisions will now be made by a stranger. Of course this stranger may be having a bad day, not feeling well, or even have had a major fight with their spouse the night before.   I know it’s scary and may even seem unfair, but this is the real world and it happens all the time. This judge is now in control of the outcome of your trial.

Here are a few tips to help prepare you for the Court Room experience:

First, I strongly recommend you try to settle as many issues as possible before entering the Court Room.  This means the judge won’t be in control of everything.
Do not expect the Judge will always make decisions in your favor. There are three directions the judge can go when making a decision: Your way, your spouse’s way, or the Judge’s way. As you can see, two out three are not in your favor.

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Discuss how you should act, and when to speak with you attorney before going into the courtroom. Do not speak unless asked to do so by the Judge.
When addressing the Judge with respect by addressing him/her as “Your Honor.”
Never speak to or make comments to your spouse when you are before the Judge.
Leave all hostile and negative emotions at the door. Do not make faces or gestures when the judge or your spouse’s attorney is speaking. Judges see this and do not appreciate it.
Dress for success. Your attorney will have a certain strategy on how he/she wants you to be portrayed. Therefore, consult your attorney on how he/she wants you to dress.
Take notes. Don’t leave anything to chance. Your attorney will be very busy during the process and cannot remember or write everything down.
Be prepared and stay organized. Bring as much information, documentation and any pertinent documents that you possibly can with you. It is better to have too much ammunition than not enough.
Be prepared to be in the court house for some time. You will sometimes wait for hours before your case is called.

You can get more divorce tips and strategies at www.DivorceAmmo.com

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The Rhode Island Family Court judge utilizes the “best interest of the child” standard in Rhode Island Child Custody and Child Visitation cases. The Factors a Family Court Judge should use in making a “best interest of the child” determination are set forth in the seminal Rhode Island case of Pettinato v Pettinato, 589 A.2d 909 (R.I. 1990)

Child Custody, Visitation and Placement issues are usually determined by the RI Family Court in Divorce , Post Divorce, Paternity, DCYF, Family Law, and Child Custody Cases.

This Rhode Island Law Article was authored by a Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer and Rhode Island Child Custody Attorney, David Slepkow.  401-437-1100

The Basics of Legal Custody

The Judge of the Rhode Island Family Court can award either sole legal custody to a parent or may award Joint Legal Custody to both parents. The issue of legal custody is completely independent of the issue of visitation. RI Visitation Rights are beyond the scope of this Rhode Island Law Article. Please Consult with Rhode Island Child Custody Lawyer David Slepkow about the facts of your case.
         
Sole Legal custody

Sole Legal Custody means that a parent can make all important and major decisions concerning a child’s health, welfare and upbringing without consulting with the other parent.  These major decisions include religious, educational, medical and general welfare decisions. The parent with sole custody of the child will also have physical placement of the child. The parent with sole legal custody has complete access to medical, educational and other records related to the child.

Joint Legal Custody

Joint Legal Custody means both parents should be involved in major / important decisions concerning a child’s upbringing, education, medical and religious welfare. Theoretically, both parents with joint custody have equal rights in making important decisions regarding their child or children. Both parents have full rights to access all medical, educational and other records pertaining to the child. In order for joint Custody to be feasible, the parents must have some level of communication and respect for each other to allow them to co-parent.

Physical Placement – Physical custody

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The Court must also award to one parent physical placement of the child or children. Physical placement is where the child will be living on a day to day basis. Physical placement is also commonly known as “physical custody” The parent who does not have physical custody of the child will have reasonable visitation rights. The parent with physical placement of a minor child has the right to receive Rhode Island Child support from the parent who has visitation rights. Child Support is typically determined by the Rhode Island Child Support Guidelines

Shared Physical Placement

Shared Physical placement (Shared Physical custody) is when the child splits time residing with both parents.  Shared Physical placement is relatively rare in Rhode Island. In some instances the child may be placed with one parent for half the week and then the other parent the other half of the week. Some parents will alternate weeks or months. This type of arrangement is usually only done by agreement of the parties and is rarely ordered by the Court Absent an agreement.

Split Physical Placement

Split physical Placement is when one child lives with the father and one child lives with the mother. It can also be when the children are split in away so that at least one child lives with a parent and at least one child lives with mother.

      
If the Parents cannot agree to Legal Custody, Physical Placement or Visitation, then The RI Family court must determine what is in the “best interest of the child” This is very subjective and analytical standard.

It is advisable to contact a Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer or a RI Family Law Attorney to get legal advice concerning the facts and circumstances in your case. There are 8 basic factors that the judge should look at in determining the best interest of the child. These factors are used by the court in determining both physical and legal custody of children

must be made in the ‘best interest[s]‘ of the child.” quoting Petition of Loudin “[T]he best interests of the child standard remains amorphous and its implementation has been left to the sound discretion of the trial justices.” Id. Several factors must be taken into consideration by the Judge in making a best interest of the child determination. However, no single factor is determinative; rather “[t]he trial justice must consider a combination of and an interaction among all the relevant factors that affect the child’s best interests.” Among the factors the court must consider are the following:

1. The wishes of the child’s parent or parents regarding the child’s custody.
2. The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of sufficient intelligence, understanding, and experience to express a preference.
3. The interaction and interrelationship of the child with the child’s parent or parents, the child’s siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child’s best interest.
4. The child’s adjustment to the child’s home, school, and community.
5. The mental and physical health of all individuals involved.
6. The stability of the child’s home environment.
7. The moral fitness of the child’s parents.
8. The willingness and ability of each parent to facilitate a close and continuous parent-child relationship between the child and the other parent.”  Pettinato v. Pettinato, 582 A.2d 909, 913-14 (R.I. 1990).

In many contested child custody cases, Professionals such as Social workers, Therapists, Psychologists, and the Guardian ad litem for the children may play a major role.

Rhode Island Attorneys legal Notice per RI Rules of Professional Responsibility:
The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all lawyers / attorneys in the general practice of law, but does not license or certify any lawyer or attorney as an expert or specialist in any field of practice.

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Regardless of the type of divorce process you choose to use, it is important to identify your marital estate. The marital estate is defined by the South Carolina Equitable Apportionment Statute and generally comprises all assets and debts acquired by either party during the marriage, regardless of title. As you can guess, there are numerous exceptions to this rule, so discuss this issue carefully with your attorney. For starters, however, you should begin to gather the following information, regardless of how it was obtained or who obtained it, as long as it was obtained during the marriage. Gather information on an asset used during the marriage, regardless of when it was obtained.

An example of an “asset” would be your residence, a car, a boat, a valuable piece of artwork, a retirement account, or an investment account. An asset is anything that is worth money! Don’t worry about loans on the assets (such as your mortgage or a car loan), because you will be listing all of these debts separately. The result will be your “net” marital estate.

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Here is a brief checklist to help guide you with this process. It is by no means a comprehensive list, so anticipate that your attorney will need more information, but it is a good starting place.

Income/ Assets:

• Income tax returns for the previous five years

• Retirement account statements; one from the date of marriage, one current.

• Estimated valuation of all real estate acquired during the marriage

• Estimated value of the marital residence, if owned

• Statements from current investment accounts

• Statements from college savings accounts for minor children

• Estimated (Blue Book) value of all automobiles

• Itemization of all valuable artwork, jewelry, etc. with estimate of values

• Copies of all trusts

• Copies of all whole life insurance policies or annuities

• Recent statements from whole life and annuity policies

• Copies of all corporate papers; Sub S Corp’s, LLC’s etc.

Debts

• Current credit card statements

• Current mortgage balances (1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc….)

• Automobile loans

• Promissory notes

• Student loans

• Secured loans

• Other debts and obligations (unsecured)

In complicated cases, a financial professional is helpful to assist in establishing the value of the marital estate. In the more straightforward cases, you and your lawyer can establish the values using and Excell or Numbers spreadsheet, or just a pencil and paper!

The bottom line is that you want to identify everything that was obtained during the marriage, or used as marital property during the marriage regardless of how it was obtained.

HOT TIP: You will also want to have this information very well organized for your attorney or financial professional. You pay these people by the hour, so the less time they need to spend organizing your financial matters, the less money you will pay for this service!

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Mother is a huge gift by in our life. Mother is the most merciful too us that she prevent us from different tough situation and also prevent support us when we at bole stage. The mother has to best effort to develop my character. She turns her/his childhood for hopeful that he/she will out to be a good person who is confident and good life. When you are suffered in tough problems in life then your mother will help you to solve problem. The mother is major role in your life for confident and well manner life.

Mother’s day give you a chance to show great affection for her. Mostly people cut of their families this day have to chance to spent with their families. If you can not spend your time with your mother, you can send a memorable gift to your mother. Finally you make sure that her struggle has not been wasted and I will fulfill their desire and dreams. Mother Day is a great day that conventional us to buy gift for your mother. If you really give pleasure to your mother then you can spent the time with her mother where she always wanted to spend her time with you. A gift of pick nick is a wonderful plan and you can go along with her in this way you will get away from dislike dull life and try to do something fresh and thrilling. If you want to know about liking and disliking of her mother then you observe personally.

Mostly women love shoes in every stage of life. My mother likes shoes more than other things. I sure that my mother will be happy with a new pair of shoes and her love will rise day by day. Mostly women love the flower and get pleasure to receiving flowers from her beloved son. First you should know that what your mother’s favorite flowers. If you make an impact your mother, send her fresh a bench of flowers on the mother day. I am sure that your mother will be very happy.

A mother love forever stands by you with unconditional and helps with out expecting everything in return. Another thing for mother’s gift is if mother is more attractive with the gardening then you should change the atmosphere with special flowers their brightness and go to this garden with mother there will a plant in which million of roses blooming. At the end I want to say that after all this act we can not fulfill the desire of mother’s right. I love my mother actually in real life our every day should be like a mother’s day.

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Divorce can be a traumatic experience for your children. No matter how old they are, the divorce will be hard for them to understand and eventually to accept. Some children in fact harbor hopes that their parents will get back together even after several years of living apart.

Many children feel that they are the ones at fault when their parents break up. Although this may seem illogical to adults, children can find associations in the most incongruous of things. As often attested by revelations during therapy, children often feel that they could have done something to prevent the break-up in the family. There are those “what ifs” and “could have beens.” If they were good and obedient children, would they have prevented the split? If they did not get into trouble in school, would their parents stay together?

One of the crucial moments that parents should take note of and prepare themselves is the way that they will break the news to their children. Although explaining it properly will not necessarily lessen the pain of knowing that their parents will be splitting up but at least a proper explanation will help prevent misunderstandings especially in what caused the break up in the first place.

Remember that young children are very impressionable. Everything that you do, whether you want them to see or not, can mean something. It is important that you tell them what’s going on to avoid misrepresentations.

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Divorce is a traumatic experience as it is without asking the children to choose sides. This will put them right in the middle of marital trouble. This is not fair because the kids are not really part of the problems that you and your partner are having. Pressuring them to judge who is right and wrong can worsen the trauma that they will be experiencing.

Still, during custody battles, choosing sides cannot be avoided. Although in some cases, especially if the children are a bit older, they are asked to choose which parents they would rather live with.

Remember that whatever happens, your partner is still a part of their lives, someone who they need to respect and love. Whatever troubles that you have in your relationship should not affect the children in any way. As long as your partner is doing his best to provide for the kids and is a good father, there is no need for them to know what a rotten person he can be sometimes.

Although your children will not necessarily understand completely what is going on, there is no need to create fantastical explanations. Just tell them the truth, that you are going to start living apart and they may have to live with each of you separately or live with one parent for the rest of their lives.

Consider their feelings and try to talk to them about it Divorce can be painful for the couple as they are the ones directly involved but you must remember that kids are very vulnerable and they are not as resilient as adults.

It is not enough that you tell them what’s going on. You also have to ask them what their feelings are about what happened. This way, you are able to address their fears and insecurities right then and there.

As mentioned before, kids often feel that it is their fault that their parents are breaking up. You have to reassure them that this is not true and they were not in any way at fault.

Children will have questions about what happened. They might not be able to verbalize it just yet but they will eventually reveal what bothers them about the situation. Encourage them to come and talk to you if they have additional questions. Tell them that it’s ok for them to tell you how they feel and they will be very much welcome to ask you anything they want. Keeping the communications line open will help ease the tension and clear up a lot of potential sources of misunderstandings.

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For those who are not familiar with the process, the matter of child custody is one problem they would just as soon not get involved with. With the growing problem of divorce, however, more and more people are now needing to learn more about the various issues surrounding it.

The following are some of the most commonly repeated questions from people who are unfamiliar with the subject. The answers provided represent answers collected from various child custody attorneys. While it is obvious that child custody laws are not the same for all states, the following answers are couched in general terms. Certainly, you must consult local experts to determine whether these answers apply to your own situation.

“Custody” is the determinant that states who is the party responsible for the child or children in cases where their parents do not live together. This applies to couples who are either separated, divorced, or who have never been married to each other but are the biological parents.

When a parent has physical custody, it refers to a situation in which the child will spend time living with that parent on a regular basis. If custody is “joint physical custody”, then the child is shuttled between the parent’s homes.

When a parent has “sole legal custody”, that parent has the sole right to make decisions on the child’s education, health, and overall welfare (schools, doctor, etc). In “joint legal custody” both parents share in making the relevant decisions.

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A judge typically gives his or her approval to a custody plan once it is agreed upon by the parents. If the parents are not able to agree, they will be required to speak with a counselor or mediator to help them work out a plan. The judge is required to make the decision on any disputed issues that both parties are not willing to resolve.

Certainly. The court will usually issue an order stating that the non-custodial parent be given generous visitation rights with the child. However, this can, and will, be restricted in cases where domestic violence has occurred or is suspected, or in cases where a parent’s ability to care for the child is under question.

The non-custodial parent can ask the court for a “contempt” order. The parent who is denying visitation can receive court sanctions. If it can be proven that it was done intentionally, the non-custodial parent may have grounds to sue to be granted the child’s custody. The judge usually will first require the couple to attempt to work out things with the help of a mediator.

Parents can usually change a custody arrangement if it doesn’t work, provided they are able to come up with a new plan and they ask the judge to make it official. If the parents continue to disagree, they can ask the judge to make the changes. The judge’s decision is expected to be based on the child’s best interests. This can be difficult if the child is being well-cared for or if the custody plan had been in place for some time.

In the State of California, a judge must give consideration to the parents first, either singly or together. A judge can, however, give custody to another relative (a grandmother, step-parent) or a friend, regardless of the parents’ consent. This can occur if the judge believes that giving custody of the child to either parent would be detrimental to the child.

If you are involved in a custody dispute, it is vitally important to have access to a reliable Child Custody Guide that can fully explain all the complications that can, and usually do, arise in a custody case.  Knowing what to expect, and how to handle the situations that will arise, will greatly help you to win your case.

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