In September of 2008, Ohio became one of the first states to make a Next of Kin registration program available to its residents.  The Ohio state legislature established the program in response to situations where police and emergency personnel had been unable to locate or contact family members of people who had been fatally injured.  Several accidents occurred where people had been severely injured but not killed instantly.  Tragically, their relatives were unable to spend time with their injured relatives during their last hours due to the difficulty police had in identifying exactly who to notify.

The law specifies that anyone who has a valid Ohio driver’s license, temporary instruction permit, or non-driver identification card may voluntarily participate in the program.  The program allows an individual to provide the name and contact information of a person who they wish to be notified in the event the individual is involved in a crash or emergency and is otherwise unable to communicate with the contact person.  If someone under the age of 18 wishes to sign up for the Next of Kin program, one of their emergency contacts must be a parent or guardian.

The Next of Kin program requires an individual to submit at least one contact person to be notified in case of a motor vehicle accident or emergency situation.  An individual can either submit the information for their emergency contacts either online or by completing the Next of Kin form (BMV 2437) through the mail or with any Deputy Registrar.  To register, one needs to submit certain personal identifiers for themselves such as their Ohio Driver’s License or ID number, the last four digits of their SSN, the first initial of their last name, and their date of birth.

Once someone has registered their emergency contact information, they can always change it by going back to the BMV website or by re-submitting the Next of Kin form (BMV 2437).  It is important to note that it is an individual’s own responsibility to update any next of kin information, such as a changed cell phone number.  Also remember that before someone is listed as an emergency contact, it is a good idea to let that person know that they are being listed as such.

The law provides that only authorized law enforcement and BMV personnel have access to your emergency contact information once it is registered.  It may only be used to contact your next of kin designations in the event that you are unable to communicate due to an accident or emergency.  To alleviate any concerns about others ever discovering the names that an individual has listed as their emergency contacts, the law specifically states that emergency contact information can never be bought or sold.  In addition, because the statute specifically exempts the information from being a public record, the public cannot ever inquire about your contact information.

If you have any questions about Ohio’s Next of Kin program, please click here or call the BMV call center at 614-752-7600.

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/>If this is your first Christmas since the separation and divorce, the anticipation can fill you with sadness and trepidation. Here are some solid, easy tips to help make the holidays less painful and hopefully, maybe, even (surprisingly!) enjoyable!

Let go of traditions that no longer work for you. This is an opportunity to re-invent your holidays. Keep the traditions that you enjoy and get rid of the ones that you don’t. No one expects you to be on your best behavior during this time, so you can probably pull it off without anyone getting too upset.

Stick to your regular routine as closely as possible. Sleep, exercise, eat well and don’t skip those therapy appointments.

Don’t use money, alcohol, food, or sex to deal with pain and sadness. These indulgences will leave you poor, hung over, fat, and guilty on December 26th.

Don’t be afraid to do something different. Go away or stay home, but take a risk to use the holidays to try something different.

Most people are depressed around the holidays. Expectations are often the fuel that feeds that “let down” feeling. Instead of focusing on what isn’t, focus on what is and what can be.

Don’t make New Year’s resolutions. We hardly ever keep them. Then we feel like failures and have one more thing to beat ourselves up about. Instead ask yourself, “What have I learned this year about myself and about life?” Then, if you feel really ambitious, focus on how you can use that information to enhance the coming year.

Volunteer. Nothing makes us feel more valuable and grateful than working with those who have less.

Remember that Christmas is only one day. Anyone can get through one day! One year from now, when you will look back on this holiday season, you will be amazed at how far you’ve come.

How important is this? Sometimes things seem more important than they really are. Ask yourself this: Will this matter to me one year from now? Will I even REMEMBER it?

Take the high road. Just because someone else behaves badly doesn’t mean you have to. “Giving them a dose of their own medicine” only ups the ante and escalates the conflict. Do you really want someone else to dictate how to behave? You may not like what others do, but you can like what you do. Behaving with dignity enhances self-esteem.

Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC is a psychotherapist in Connecticut who works with families in transition. This article is adapted from her book, Ex-Wife to Exceptional Life: A Woman’s Journey through Divorce which was awarded Honorable Mention in the self-help category by the Independent Publishers Association. Her second book Profileactics: A Guide for the Prevention of ill-Conceived Personal Ads was just published in October 2009. More information, click here to go to her website.

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Factual Scenario:  The Final Judgment and Decree of Divorce has finally been executed by the parties and has been filed with the Court.  But, alas, Husband finds that Wife is not willing to pay what he is supposed to receive from her; and Wife is not forthcoming in dividing the U.S. Savings Bonds that were acquired during the parties’ marriage; and she is refusing to convey to Husband certain household goods and furnishings as directed in the Final Judgment and Decree of Divorce.

What remedies does Husband have?

The Court does not have a “police force” or “private investigators” to monitor compliance with Final Decrees or Agreed Entries.  There simply is not enough money for the Court to examine whether or not former spouses are following the mandates of their Decrees.  In order for the Court to learn about a party’s non-compliance, the former Husband must file a Motion asking the Court to find his Ex-wife in Contempt of Court for her willful failure to comply with certain terms of the Final Decree or Agreed Entry.  Another name for the same action is for Husband to file a Motion to Show Cause why Wife should not be held in Contempt of Court.  The terms “Motion to Show Cause” and “Motion for Contempt” are used interchangeably.  This is a “civil” contempt action, not a “criminal” contempt action.  The Motion must also contain other information:

1. Notice of Hearing: The Court will have to conduct an evidentiary hearing to determine if Wife should be found in contempt of Court.  The Notice will set forth the date and time of the hearing and the name of the Judge or Magistrate who shall conduct the hearing.
2. In addition to the Motion for Contempt, there must be a notice advising the former Wife that if she is found in contempt of Court, she may be ordered to pay a fine and that she may be sent to jail.  Persons accused of contempt are entitled to constitutional protections, including having an attorney represent him/her.  In all the years that I have practiced Family Law, the only times that I have seen a party sent to jail were in relation to non-payment of child support, which is the most common type of contempt proceeding.

If Wife is the non-compliant party, must Husband incur more legal expenses to take her back to Court?

Unfortunately, the answer is “yes”.  Again, the system may not seem “fair” but there are no funds or monies available to assist the wronged party.  So, the attorney must advise the potential client that there will be a filing fee involved along with expenses to have the former spouse served with the Motion and Notice of Hearing, and attorney fees to take the matter back to Court.  In Montgomery County, Ohio, the filing fee for post-Decree contempt matters is $125.00 and service of process in a contempt matter must be accomplished by personal service.

If Wife is found to be in contempt of Court, can she be ordered to pay Husband’s reasonable attorney fees and court costs incurred by him?

The Court has the authority to direct the errant Wife to pay to the former Husband his reasonable attorney fees and court costs expended by him in bringing the matter before the Court.  In fact, the threat of having to pay Husband’s attorney fees and court costs may act as an incentive to encourage compliance with the Order.  In Montgomery County Domestic Relations Court, the Local Rule allows the court to assess only a nominal $350 in attorney fees against the contemnor unless another attorney is retained to testify about the necessity and propriety of a request for additional attorney fees. Even upon expending additional money to hire another attorney to appear in Court and testify about the actual attorney fees incurred in pursuing the Contempt matter, the Court has discretion whether to Order any additional attorney fees or not.

Is it “worth it” to bring a Contempt of Court or Show Cause Action?

The answer to that question must be made on an individual case-by-case basis. The attorney and client should carefully analyze the costs associated with filing the Motion in relation to the financial value of the monies or goods being sought.  In the scenario set forth at the beginning of this article, Husband decided it was worth the legal fees and court costs to take the matter back to Court.  In that post-Decree matter, he was seeking payment of several thousand dollars and saving bonds worth approximately $25,000.  There are instances, however, where it just does not make economic sense to spend additional monies going after a “deadbeat” ex-spouse.

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The law setting out the presumption of paternity is found at Indiana Code section 31-14-7-1. This 2004 Indiana Court of Appeals opinion, Richard v. Richard, 812 NE 2d 222, gives us an idea of how not to address a questionable child of the marriage:

In the case at bar, Carl and Carmen’s divorce was finalized on September 15, 2000, and C.R.R. was born on June 1, 2001—well within the 300 day period set forth in I.C. § 31-14-7-1(1)(B). In addition, DNA testing indicated that there is a 99.999% probability that Carl fathered C.R.R. Nevertheless, the presumption may be rebutted by direct, clear, and convincing evidence that the husband: (1) is impotent; (2) was absent so as to have no access to the mother; (3) was absent during the entire time the child must have been conceived; (4) was present with the mother only in circumstances which clearly prove there was no sexual intercourse; (5) was sterile during the time the child must have been conceived; or (6) can show that the DNA test of another man indicates a 99% probability that the man is the child’s father combined with uncontradicted evidence that the man had sexual intercourse with the mother at the time the child must have been conceived. Minton v. Weaver, 697 N.E.2d 1259, 1260 (Ind.Ct.App.1998), trans. denied. However, the record reveals no such evidence here.

To the contrary, Carl’s testimony shows that, although he adamantly denies having sex with Carmen, he had access to her during the period of time that C.R.R. would have been conceived. Likewise, he presented no evidence that he was impotent or sterile. Our supreme court has previously held: “[f]or the putative father to merely state that he did not have relations with his wife when he had opportunity to, regardless of the quality or credibility of his testimony, is not sufficient to set aside the presumption.” L.F.R. v. R.A.R., 269 Ind. 97, 99, 378 N.E.2d 855, 857 (Ind.1978).

***

Despite Carl’s contentions, we find nothing in Charles’ testimony that constitutes 228 the direct, clear, and convincing proof necessary to overcome the statutory presumption that Carl is the biological father of C.R.R. See Minton, 697 N.E.2d at 1260. Thus, in the same vein that our supreme court has held that a putative father cannot overcome the presumption by merely denying he had relations with his wife, we hold that Carl cannot overcome the statutory presumption of paternity by merely presenting testimony of his identical twin brother that the child is probably his and he is willing to pay child support. See L.F.R. 378 N.E.2d at 857. As a result, we hold that the trial court committed no error in determining that Carl is the biological father of C.R.R.

View full post on Sam Hasler’s Indiana Divorce & Family Law Blog

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Michael Mastracci, an attorney from Baltimore, Maryland, publishes one of my favorite blogs, “Divorce Without Dishonor.” He is a huge proponent of utilizing the collaborative law model in divorce and custody matters whenever possible. He recently posted an excellent piece, with which I agree, well worth sharing. I have added a few of my own thoughts at the end.

When I was in law school one of the adjunct professors was a circuit court judge with years of experience presiding over cases involving dueling parents arguing about virtually every aspect of their children’s lives. His advice, probably the best advice in three years of law school, was to know your judge. His Honor was not speaking about knowing the judge personally (although that never hurts) but knowing what he or she is likely to do in any given situation or factual scenario. What does that mean?

When I was in law school one of the adjunct professors was a circuit court judge with years of experience presiding over cases involving dueling parents arguing about virtually every aspect of their children’s lives. His advice, probably the best advice in three years of law school, was to know your judge. His Honor was not speaking about knowing the judge personally (although that never hurts) but knowing what he or she is likely to do in any given situation or factual scenario. What does that mean?

People often tend to forget that judges are people, people who likely either knew the governor or knew people close to the governor in order to get appointed. Judges are not necessarily appointed because they are smart. There is no judgeship test or certification to wear the robe once appointed (that is appointed and not anointed as some may think).

There are many judges who care deeply about the divorce and child custody litigants that come before them. There are many fine judges that have earned the respect of the lawyers and the citizens that appear before them. They may have the best of intentions and have all the good qualities one may hope for and yet they may make a ruling that will haunt you and your family for years to come. Why would you let this happen?

While judges generally receive a great deal of respect you cannot forget that they are people too and we all have shortcomings and we all have faults and areas of our lives that could use some improvement. A judge goes to work just like anyone else. For a judge, deciding the custody and child access issues of your case would be just a routine part of any given day; just another day at the office. Don’t lose sight of these sorts of things when you decide to take your business to the courthouse. From this day forward, make sure you are in the business of co-parenting.

And remember, when a court order is entered, it lasts until your child reaches the age of majority unless modified by agreement or subsequent court order. Look for alternatives to litigation and do all you can to Stop Fighting Over the Kids.

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From Family Law Week comes Collaborative prenuptial agreements find favour

According to The Law Society’s Gazette, a rising number of clients contemplating marriage are asking for prenuptial agreements to be prepared using the collaborative law model. The report records a shift in attitude among clients who would prefer to adopt a more consensual approach to agreeing a pre-nuptial agreement rather than employ the more traditional, oppositional method of negotiation.

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Tips to Rebuild Your Life and Your Goals after Divorce contains some good advice.  The information there is not really specific to Alabama divorce law. In fact, the article doesn’t really deal with divorce laws at all.  Rather, the focus of the article is on how to move on with your life after divorce.  And, on that note it is helpful.

Here is a summary of the tips there:

1. Work through your grief
2. Recognize your survival mechanisms
3. Assess your talents
4. Start living consciously
5. Write your own story
6. Develop a project for the future
7. Plan for obstacles
8. Deal with the fears
9. Take incredible care of yourself along the way

Check out the link above to read the details for each step.  If you are recently divorced or going through a divorce now, it is worth a read.  The last tip is really what the entire article is about: taking care of yourself.  When I am helping a client go through an Alabama divorce, I try to urge them to take care of themselves mentally, phyiscally, emotionally and spiritually.  Often divorce attorneys are so focused on protecting our clients in their legal case, that it is easy to overlook these equally important issues of their health.  So, not only is this a good article for someone going through divorce, it was a good reminder to me, as a divorce lawyer, to not lose site of this important aspect of my client’s life.

This post from the AlabamaFamilyLawBlog.com where you can find information about Alabama divorce and family law.

How to Move on After Divorce

Related divorce and family law info:

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5. 7 Steps to Survive Divorce I came across this excellent article entitled, 7 Steps to…

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Jason C. Brown, the publisher of the Minnesota Divorce and Family Law Blog, recently posted a very practical article outlining some important steps to take if you are anticipating filing a divorce action. I am grateful that he has allowed me to repost it here. I concur with his wise “nuts and bolts” type suggestions. Remember the old adage, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”.  Plus, this “ounce of prevention” might well save you thousands of dollars in attorney fees!

Once you break the news of your desire to dissolve your marriage, interesting things may start happening at your house. Critical records and valuable items of personal property may suddenly vanish. It pays to be proactive to ensure that you have all the information you will need to move forward as efficiently as possible.

The wasted time and cost associated with hunting down missing documentation can be staggering. We’ve handled cases where everything from an expensive diamond ring to boxes of business records have taken a “vacation”. We almost always find them, but not without substantial effort. In cases where they are not found, the Court will impose substantial sanctions and assume the missing evidence is favorable to you.

To help avoid the mess, we’ve assembled a list of 12 things you should gather to ensure that you have all critical information in hand before your spouse has a chance to conceal, transfer or sell items. These include obtaining:

To help avoid the mess, we’ve assembled a list of 12 things you should gather to ensure that you have all critical information in hand before your spouse has a chance to conceal, transfer or sell items. These include obtaining:

Investing some time in gathering these items will ensure that your spouse cannot take advantage of you during the divorce process. The denial of the existence of an asset is a fraud upon the Court. Once your spouse knows that we have all of the key information in hand, they are far less likely to engage in bad faith conduct and be honest in their disclosures throughout the process!

If you believe that it is prudent in your case to copy a computer’s hard drive to preserve information, be sure you have a qualified professional undertake the task. It is very easy to accidentally run the “ghost drive” backwards and, in so doing, wipe out the original hard dhard drive! Not good at all!

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